How do you politely tell someone they wear too much cheap cologne?
I'll call him Joe to keep it semi-anonymous. Joe lives upstairs, with three other guys. They wrestle sometimes. I'm 94% certain they are all virgins.
"Hey Joe, Sometimes we have to open all the windows and doors just to breathe. Mind cutting it back a bit?"
"Hey Joe, good work with the pest control! Nothing could survive that!"
"Joe, I got to thinking and then I got distracted by your stench."
Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if it were a decent brand, but I have this feeling it was a $9.99 bulk special at the gas station. I think it's the same odor they add to natural gas to alert customers to leaks.
"Joe, the paint is peeling."
The wretched smell is a recent addition, and occurring with increasing frequency. It wakes us up in the morning. It's not a good wake up call. I think I'd prefer a chainsaw in my back to that smell.
Perhaps it's the start of spring and the virgins have began their prowl. I wish I could hire a prostitute for him and the madness would end. However, I would hate to subject anyone to that smell for longer than three minutes. That's just cruel.
"Joe, may I suggest you switch to rotten eggs? It would be an improvement."
I'm afraid it's going to start permeating into my clothes.
"Hey Joe, if a husband started wearing that smell, I think it would be grounds for divorce."
Did I mention it's bad?
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